Welcome Back

Oh hey everybody, we’re back again with another high-profile mass shooting. How’s everyone doing? This is our roughly ten millionth school shooting of 2018 and boy howdy is everyone mad! We’re all mad at the gun manufacturers, they’re the ones making billions off of these deaths. We’re mad at the lobbyists they hire to make sure Congress destroys any chance of gun control. We’re mad at the NRA for being point on the propaganda blitz that ensures idiots will never not think liberals are coming for their guns. We’re mad at the GOP congressmen who accept millions upon millions of dollars in campaign donations and abdicate any and all responsibility for the thousands of deaths that bloody their hands. We’re mad at the Democrats for not having the fucking balls to do something. We’re mad at the gun stores, we’re mad at the parents, we’re mad at the lack of mental health services.

Worst part is I’m not even mad at the shooters anymore. It almost makes sense now. Imagine you’re a person with a shit ton of guns who’s mad at something or anything or fucking just goddam crazy. Of course you’re going to shoot someone or something or a school or Vegas or fucking whatever. Everybody’s doing it. Why the fuck wouldn’t you? It’s a goddam popular thing to do. If everybody shot up a bridge, you can expect peer pressure will cause the weak-willed to do it, too. At this point, I’m surprised there aren’t more.

As I said, we’re at our one billionth school shooting of 2018 and I’m actually shocked people still have takes. Pretty much everything has already been said, except, I think, the one thing that’s really at the heart of this: the wrong people are getting shot.

Now, I need to be careful here, because I have a well-documented history of wishing violence upon people who deserve violence wished upon them. Generally speaking, though, I am exaggerating. Then again, I am also right. The crimes that have been perpetrated deserve punishment. Joe Arpaio deserves punishment more cruel than anyone on death row. That’s an objective truth. I don’t want to inspire people to do it to him, I want him to be dealt with lawfully. That’s what I want. I want to be clear on that.

The reality, though, is that the wrong people are getting shot. The victims of these crimes are regular fucking people. So we’re fucked. This country isn’t for us. This country is for the wealthy, the connected, the powerful and until their kids starting getting shot not a god damn thing is going to fucking happen. That’s the truth. That’s the goddam fucking truth.

The worst part of this truth is that one rich kid won’t be enough, how sick is that? If Marco Rubio’s kids were killed, brutally, by gunfire, alongside everyone else at their school, and he changed his mind, his vote, what would happen? He’d be primaried. That’s what would happen. That’s how fucking sick America is. If Marco Rubio with his A-fucking-plus rating from the NRA came out on TV tomorrow and said “I’m sponsoring legislation to end the sales of AR-15s-” his feed would be cut off from FoxNews before he finished the sentence, then the NRA and Winchester and Remington and all of them would find some scarecrow candidate and pour all of the money into his campaign.

You know what else? Let’s see how voting for Democrats goes. Cause my suspicion is that they won’t make a good faith effort to pass gun control either. Remember how many school shootings happened when Obama was president and had a supermajority in Congress? My suspicion is that they’ll say they can’t waste their political capital on an issue that will make their loudest, dumbest conservative constituents unhappy.

Real gun control probably won’t get passed until Robert Nardelli, CEO of Remington Arms, P. James Dubney, CEO of Smith & Wesson, Iver Mossberg, CEO of C.F. Mossberg & Sons, and Marco Rubio and John McCain and Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell and Trump and Sean Hannity and more and more, gun control probably won’t get passed until all of their children are shot and killed.

And then, oh boy and then, if that all came to pass, when that gun legislation passed congress, the supreme court would block it. So add Clarence Thomas, Samuel A. Alito, Clarence Thomas, Stephen Breyer, and Anthony Kennedy to that list. That’s how sick we are. That’s how sick these people are.

I’m cynical. I don’t have hope.

I don’t think I’m wrong.