March 11, 2014

Guests:

• No guests. Rob Dew comes on air to talk to Alex about his boners (not a joke) for a little bit, but he does not count as a guest.

Narratives:

The Malaysian Plane (MH370) went missing three days prior, and thus far, Alex has not given an opinion on the matter. While the rest of the media can't talk enough about this plane, and it seems ripe for conspiracy speculating, Alex has been suspiciously mum. Today, he breaks his silence and loosely speculates that Iran was behind the plane's disappearance, though he is non-committal about it.

Beyond that, there is very little going on with this episode in terms of real content. Alex jumps around from topic to topic very randomly, mostly hitting on his favorite topics: guns are the ultimate version of Civil Rights, "kissing girls" and "fighting" are signs of possessing humanity, the literal devil is real. Oh, and we learn that Alex can hypnotize people.

Beyond that revelation, there is not much happening for the show, and then, about two hours in, Alex Jones gets very defensive about the products he sells on his website, particularly Super Male Vitality.

It appears that people have been (rightly) accusing Alex of selling a boner aid product and pretending that it is not a boner aid product, and Alex is pretty unhappy about it. He dances around how it will give you a boner, but it's so much more, and then decides to drag Rob Dew into the studio to put him on the spot about how hard Super Male Vitality got his dick, and what Dew's wife thought about it.

The show has gone off the rails in a completely disgusting fashion, but thankfully Rob Dew tries to get things back on track by talking about the Malaysian Plane, but it turns out that neither he nor Alex know anything about the situation.

Alex still has time to fill on the broadcast, but by the two-hour point, he is pretty hungry, so he has an employee go out and get him a hamburger, which he proceeds to eat on air. As if that weren't bad enough, Alex turns it into an advertisement for Super Male Vitality and some of his other products, as he uses them as condiments and dresses his burger with way more than the daily recommended dose of his supplements.

It's pretty gross, it's incredibly embarrassing, but it's also pretty funny when you consider that Alex Jones is a man who wants to be taken seriously, yet does this on air after talking to his "news director" about how his wife felt about him getting more boners while taking the products they sell.