Alex Jones Cannot Stop Lying About Joycelyn Elders

Alex Jones, as of late, has been particularly desperate to portray the media and the power structure as attempting to "mainstream pedophilia." He argues that the "Globalists" are trying to "sexualize your kids," which I'm becoming convinced is his backdoor, sensationalized way of saying he prefers abstinence-only education.

In any case, his argument is tremendously weak. So weak, in fact, that in order to pretend that this agenda of the "Globalists" has been something they've been working on for a long time, he's been taking to saying some borderline libelous things about former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. He fabricates quotes she never said, insists that he has a clip of her saying those things, then mysteriously never ends up playing the clip, knowing that his audience will take his threat to play the non-existent clip as evidence of its existence.

Also, he does a terrible impression of her.

Here is a clip from the January 2, 2018 episode:

In this clip, Alex very clearly says that that "she actually said" that schools should reach down and grab kids' "little wee-wees." The "actually said" part would lead any right thinking person to assume that what he is saying is a quote. It is not.

He also says, "maybe I should play that clip again," but even he knows he can't. Because that clip doesn't exist. Because of course Joycelyn Elders didn't say that.

But, that doesn't stop Alex from revisiting the theme later in that same show:

So now, he's further established that he is saying that Ms. Elders was saying that schools should literally touch kids. He's also done some great on-air theater, where he pretends a producer told him that they found the clip (which they could not have), and that he is going to play it "coming up" (which he does not).

Listening to this, I found it pretty repulsive, both as a human and as someone who enjoys some good impression work. This was just clunky and disgusting, and of course, completely slanderous. But, I hadn't heard Alex go down this road before, so I just assumed that it was something that he started riffing with on Jan. 2 and kind of overcommitted to the bit.

Then, I heard the Jan. 10, 2018 episode of the show:

At this point, it's fair to say that Alex considers this a piece of his canon, and really wants his audience to believe what he's saying.

Again, he threatens to play the clip, he says he's going to play it next hour, and mysteriously he never ends up playing this clip he seems to be really excited to play for his audience. In the time it takes him to do these dog-shit impressions, he could have played any clip he wanted to, and he claims he has it, so why doesn't he?

Sorry to belabor the point, but it is because he's a liar, and a clip of Joycelyn Elders saying anything resembling what he is saying does not exist.

In 1994, Joycelyn Elders was speaking at an AIDS conference when she was asked if masturbation would be something that could help limit unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted disease, to which she replied:

I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality, and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught. But we’ve not even taught our children the very basics.

I don't see wee-wees in there. I don't see any advocating for schools to slip their hands in kids pants. All I see is her suggesting that masturbation is "something that perhaps should be taught." And before you go around suggesting that those six words somehow validate Alex Jones' position, here is Elders' clarification that she had to give because shit-heads like Rush Limbaugh attacked her in the same way Alex is now.

She said very clearly that what she meant was that it was possibly a good idea to teach children that masturbating is normal, not that schools should teach kids the "how" details of the act. She went on to say that "people have taken a lot of things I've said in a most unusual way." That probably had nothing to do with her being the first African-American Surgeon General. Probably a coincidence.

Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and all those assholes knew exactly what she was saying back then, and they willfully chose to misrepresent her words because they knew that she supported a woman's right to choose, she supported safe sex education, and she was opposed to the war on drugs, and needed to attack her with whatever flimsy shit they could muster. They were afraid because they knew that her positions make sense in reality, and theirs do not.

Alex Jones knows exactly what she was saying back then too, only his lie is much worse. Instead of slandering a person to achieve a petty political end like they did in 1994, Alex is slandering a person to pretend that she is a pedophile, a supporter of pedophiles, and living evidence of a systematic attempt to abuse your children in their schools being carried out by the government.

That is a disgusting, dangerous level of deceit, and one that Alex Jones should be deeply ashamed to have reached. He probably won't though; reaching that level probably scared at least six or seven of his listeners into buying one of his products, and that's all that really counts.